I Said Goodbye a Lot of Times Before but Now is the Most Final…
“But I can’t be a queen for you, coz you, can’t stand like a king for me…goodbye, I’m saying my final goodbye… please bring a pack of smiles and love from me as you leave.”
I’m saying my final goodbye now to someone whom I used to say goodbye with a lot of times before.
You are someone I used to have fallen in love with, my ever first love. Knowing you in six years is more than enough to make my life truly exciting. I’m happy that I have known you as a friend, enemy and acquaintance in high school… still friends and enemies until college though we went to different worlds. More than that, there must still be something special between us… but that thing was only a dew drop in the morning… fading. Because of you, I had and have a lot of things to share with others. Half of my writings is all about you.
Remember the first poem I wrote for you? I bet you don’t even know it. How about the poem I wrote while I played the guitar? This too, I bet you haven’t read. When I said my ever first official goodbye, were you there to listen? And my other goodbye poem? I know you didn’t. There were more things I wrote about us, the last thing was all about you.
Though in the last couple of years, when I started my new life with a new love, my love for you didn’t cease. Though I was not already in love with you, I still loved you so much. You have said words I didn’t like, you have won in breaking my heart, but the love I had for you still remained whole. You were someone whom everybody used to hate, but I was someone who loved you at your worst. I’ve seen the the smile behind your wicked eyes and heard the laughter from your harsh mouth. I’ve seen the wonder of your heart from the start. But like I said, I can’t stay in love with you, but I will always love you.
I may had become important to you once upon a time;treated me like one of your princesses. But I can’t be a queen for you, coz even you, can’t stand like a king. Our fairy tale might have ended years ago, but still the passion in me to love you remains forever.
Thank you, thank you,for letting me to experience loving you— a different kind of love that is often misinterpreted by others… and was misinterpreted by you. A lot of times I said goodbye but those were with hate and jealousy and were PARTIAL GOODBYES. Now, this is really my finale. Goodbye, I’m saying my final goodbye to all the “in loving” emotions I had for you: all the hate you repeatedly gave me, all the loving memories, all the what-if’s and kind hopes… I am saying goodbye with no angst and a fist hand. Forgiveness still endures. Don’t forget to bring a pack of smiles and love from me as you leave.
But I’m not saying I’m going to not love you no more. Surely, I will still… like I said, it will be forever. I hope you understand now the kind of love I’ve been trying to let you understand even before. I want you to be happy in your life, because if not, I’ll be very sad. You’ll always be tagged as my “first love”. It won’t die. I’ll never forget you.
Please let me know if it’s a boy or a girl.
_Imary_
I Need Myself Be Back!
I am uncomfortable with myself. I feel I really need to change a lot. Well, you know me, I always yearn for changes everyday even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone. Ok, I’ll tell you now. First, of course, I want to be more organized with everything again (parang ilang taon na ito ah! hehe). Basta! I’m so ngarag na ngayon. My priorities are not set. I need to reset my priorites: the most important is to start and end my day with God. My biological clock is pretty abnormal too so I must take charge of it. Huhuh..
I’m so upset at this moment because I’m fearing of getting bigger and bigger! Few months, I found myself being narcissistic (a little, honestly! hehe) and now I’m feeling self-hating (not at all but I have a tendency..lol)! Last night I found out how much pounds i gained since I got here in US. Looking at my old pictures from last year, I’m feeling kinda frustrated!! Waahh! I was never this fat! I’m so conscious, to tell you.
Di’bale, even if I don’t love myself sometimes, God always loves me for who I am. I’ll move my feet and start looking for ways on how to reduce weight! Really, I’m hating it! I need excercise, less food and most especially, I need myself back! lol..
Wala lang. Mamaya magiging ok na rin ako. 
It Was Very Good…
“And God saw everything that He made and behold, it was very good.”- Genesis 1: 31a (ESV)
Genesis chapter 1 shows the beginning of creation where God made the heavens and earth out of darkness and void. I’m just amazed that in six days, He managed to put light out of the dark, established the universe and brought life on earth. I noticed that every after the day that He created, He saw that it was good. And at the end of the creation, everything went very good.
Applying it in my life today, I just find myself as being disorganized with my time. I lack orderliness with the way I think in which things must be done first (i.e: home works and projects). I like cramming and last-minutes. I hate being pressured but I have to be pressured first so that I could think clearly and work seriously. I go haywire when the day of submission will be tomorrow and I’m not even in the midway of my task yet. Although my outputs are good enough and at least meet the deadlines, sometimes I could not help myself but get frustrated too as I meet failures. I’m trying to change myself but it has been hard for me since playing-now-work-later is part of my personality.
How I wish that I am as organized as God. Well, I can be if I really wanted to be. As the bible says that ¹man was made in His image and likeness, so I could also say that I could be like Him who does things well and puts them in order. I don’t have to stress out myself, thinking of the what’s and how’s. Anyway, the Lord did not freak out when He ²separated the water from the land, ³put vegetation on earth, 4created human beings, and things like that. Those are way more too difficult to do rather than finishing my research paper in Sociology, speeches in Public Speaking, home works in Library 101 and all other daily works of mine. If I worry a lot, maybe now is the time to re-check the status of of my faith. 5 In each day, there is enough trouble for me. Besides, 6 He is always there who carries my burdens and helps me complete my tasks successfully.
Everyday, my greatest rival is myself—my procrastination, my laziness and lot of my unnecessary emotions. I’m just very grateful that even though these things try to destroy my concentration of a good success, the Word of God pulls me towards Him again and fills my mind with beautiful visions of tomorrow.
After I created my day, I hope I could sit back and relax and say just like God in the beginning that everything was very good!
*Footnotes: 1. Genesis 1:26a; 2. Genesis 1:9; 3. Genesis 1:11-12; 4. Genesis 1: 26a; 5. Matthew 6:34b; 6. Psalm 68:19
I was touched with this commercial from McDonald’s…
Ok, first of, I know I’m already late seeing this commercial (hhmmm maybe 4 months late? hehe). I just came across with this McDonald Philippines commercial as I was browsing Youtube this morning. I’ve always loved commercials portraying stories so it somehow got my attention (Well, I was trying to apply Monroe’s motivational sequence in persuasion sa commercial na ito.. based on what I’m currently learning from my speech class). Nonetheless, I’ll show you the video. I know it’s no longer new to you anyhow.
The guy was just too humble. I can see myself to him who truly treasures memories (especially unforgettable people) regardless of what have happened in the past. No more grudge nor hate but only love.
I think that’s just sweet… and a reality check. It struck my pathos (emotion). Bitin nga lang… hehe
