Remembering..
At this midnight, I looked back to my blog in Wordpress which was made more than a year ago. Guess what, as I was reading from my ever first post up to June 2008 archives (I didn’t finish it), I felt so good. Of course I got ashamed of myself too because I realized that I was really emotional and immature during the times I was writing my daily posts. But those emotional times I had were actually, like precious stones I’m counting. The memories of my life are worthless. That’s why it’s very nice to keep your own journals because you can go back to them after so many years. I’m happy reading all my journals over and over again.
For days, I noticed I’m becoming so emotional. When I’m alone, I can really feel… alone! So all I have to do is to blog write.. Ok, I won’t assume anymore that someone is reading this. But anyways, reading my past memories made me realized how I transformed. From confusions to worries to happiness to joy to tears to struggles.. I also noticed how God really helped me overcome everything..
Lately, instead of thanking, I was more on grumbling. About my boring life, about this empty life of mine. Worries are attacking me. But again, I am realizing that, if I have overcome my struggles in the past, what more with my present? I remembered how positive I was, how patient I was, how thankful I was, how waiting I was. Can I not become the same or better now? Of course I can!
I almost forgot God’s promises to me… on how He will help me, on how He will use me, on how He will give me everything, on how He will make me strong in this beautiful land he brought me. I almost forgot I’m already in USA, this land that He promised. i almost forgot to trust Him.. almost forgot to surrender my emotions, my heart.
I thought I already had the best of my life and my life tomorrow will never be as beautiful as yesterday. I was wrong. Now, God is reminding me that He still loves me despite the fact that I almost forget my love for Him that I used to have. He’s telling me that the rest of my life is the best of my life.
Now, I’m getting okay. Instead of worrying, I must remeber the good times I talked to the Lord about my future plans. Everyday must not be the end but a beginning. Now, I’m remembering how to make this thing I called life worthwile everyday again. 
